Music and Mood

I find that when I am feeling down, I like to listen to or write sad music. Not to make myself feel worse, but to make myself feel better. There is a cathartic value to this method. Most people who ride in my car are constantly irritated by my depressing music playlist. I am constantly told I bum people out. In my defense, I feel like I can relate to the music and knowing someone has felt what I am feeling, it makes me feel a little better.

This is the same reason why you want to dance to upbeat music when you’re in a party mood. You crank up the club music (I have a certain level of disdain for EDM) and before you know it you’re twerking with your squad (#SQUADGOALS). Some people prefer country, and they go down to the honky tonk and line dance. Whatever your go-to dance music is, I think you get the point.

I knew a guy once who preferred to rock out to alternative music when he was mad. Like, crank the volume up and make your eardrums bleed kind of rock out. I can’t head bang without getting nauseous, so I don’t partake in that. Another person we all know is your one lady friend who feels empowered and lips-syncs Beyoncé like they’re starring in their own personal music video. If not, watch the video below.

 

There is no doubt music has an influence on mood. There is even a specialized field of professionals known as music therapists. The American Music Therapy Association says, “Music therapy is an efficacious and valid treatment for persons who have psychosocial, affective, cognitive and communicative needs.”

People in music therapy get a chance to explore personal feelings and gain new perspectives that can help treat mental health issues.

Some people find expression through music easier to process than complicated words and feelings that can be expressed through a song. Listening to certain music can open up the floodgates and help get somebody to talk about things they aren’t usually comfortable talking about. When you find that someone else relates to you, it’s more comfortable to speak out since you know you’re not the only one.

So, the next time you find yourself in a down mood, put on some sad music. It helps more than you think.

My Fears

What am I afraid of? That is a loaded question for most people, but for me it comes down to three things:

Spiders, Snakes, and Failure.

Although this may seem silly to some, it is a very reasonable response to stress and I stand by it. For instance, spiders are like nature’s assassins. They are small, cloaked in black, and trap things in netting. I remember one time I was getting ready for bed and right before I flipped the lights off I saw a spider dart under my bed. I panicked and went as far as lifting my mattress so I could find it. I never did. Needless to say it took me a long time to fall asleep at night. I’m not sure where my fear of spiders comes from, but I know they’re sneaky, they bite, and I don’t have time for that.

Snakes aren’t as bad, but I still don’t care for them. I have only held one once, and I hated the way its skin felt. I also have seen too many nature documentaries about how venomous some snakes are. I don’t particularly appreciate how cobras can spit, or how they can swallow their live prey whole. They can show up in toilets, your front yard, and even your car. If I was driving and found a snake in my car, I would unbuckle my seat belt and hit a tree just to eject myself out of the car. Yeah, it’s that serious.

Failure is a natural fear for everyone. We feel like we won’t reach our potential, or we aren’t good enough to get that promotion we want. It can be hard to find the right motivation when the going gets tough. I find the best thing to do is remember your goals, stay the course, and get your priorities in-line. The worst thing you can do is let fear stand in your way. That’s why I created my website.

I’ve shared my fears. What are some of yours?

The Art Of Writing: Lesson One

Let’s face it, there’s no cut-and-dry method of writing. In fact, writing is more than the traditional mainstream novel. You know the one. It’s the novel the guy in Joe Mugg’s is trying to shove down your throat when all you want is a sweet mocha frape. I do my best to expand my reading outside of the vacuum of popular opinion, but sometimes I need some bloody, nasty vampire orgies. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Now here are some pointers!

  1. Idea

It all begins with an idea. Like a seed in the soil, with time it will grow into something beautiful. Grab a pen and paper, or the memo pad in your smartphone is a super convenient tool as well. Don’t wait on inspiration. I like to think of inspiration as a procrastination card. It’s easy to play it and spend more time daydreaming. Daydreaming can be viewed as a brainstorming session, but how often do you brainstorm and all of a sudden you’ve won the Voice? That happens all too often for me. I could be slightly ADD, but I’ve never been diagnosed. I have to learn to fight my laziness and really force myself to work sometimes. Start with lists, or the old fashioned idea webs you did in high school. It’s a good way to keep your train of thought straight, and it gives you a physical record of your ideas so you don’t forget them. NEVER skip writing it down and hoping to remember it later. More often than not, you will forget. Make a post-it note, or a voice memo to remind yourself to write it down. Personally I keep a binder for my writing, and my phone’s memo app has a lot of different ideas on it. Don’t worry if you think it’s a bad idea, go ahead and put it down. Make a basic outline to see if it will run its course. If you don’t like it in the end, you can always give it the axe, but if you kill it before it’s time, you might be missing out on a really great story!

 

  1. Research

Always make sure to research your subject. Nothing kills the writing vibe more than having to stop mid-paragraph and crack a book or open Google. Take plenty of notes and keep them handy!

 

  1. Character List

Write down a list of your characters and their relationship to one another. Go ahead and write down what they look like. It’s kind of like building an avatar in the Sims. The world of your story is the same way. When you create this world, it’s your job as a writer to make this world come to life. Write down anything that will give growth to this world. Personalities, style, personal demons, good qualities, place in the status quo, etc. Make sure they all are a separate person. It’s easy to write in the same voice, so make sure you write in a different persona for each character. Take your time and don’t rush it! If you rush your writing you will skip over ideas that you didn’t even know you had. This is where your lists and webs help. They remind you of how you want to build your characters.

 

  1. Chapter List

Next you need to decide how deep you want your story to go. Do you want it to be a short story, or do you have a big story you want to tell? Set your bar realistically. Start with chapter one. Decide on the prologue last. That’s when you know if you’ll need to set your story up. Try and make it a goal to weave your story together well enough you won’t need one. I find this is challenging if you’re writing fantasy set in its own universe. Readers can adapt to your world if you make it as vivid as possible. Just try not to make “laundry list” descriptions. Less can be more, and you’ve got the whole book to reveal different sides of a character. Don’t give away all of your mystery at once. You want to keep your reader turning the page, not turning on the television.

 

  1. Setting

Where is this happening? This can be really easy. The best places are places you’ve personally experienced. That’s the most effective way to describe something rather than research it. You can describe what it looks like, but not the local foods and the flavor of the environment. What are the people like? What are some common things they say? What are smells in the air? You can ask a resident, but you won’t know how it feels to be there unless you visit. It’s not impossible to do, but it gives you a perspective you can draw on, like another resource.

 

  1. Time Management

You might be worried about finding the time to write. Some people think the best time to write is in the morning, before the worries of the day distract you from working. Personally, I don’t believe there’s a right or wrong time. I don’t like to write before bed, because I’ll get tired and stop. Make sure you write during a set time, even if it’s only a half hour. I personally like to work between noon and dinner. I can run errands in the morning and get everything out of the way, that way when I’m done I don’t feel rushed to write. All I have to worry about is dinner. Just plan according to your schedule, and when it’s time to write, WRITE. Set a page goal, it will give you a target on how much you want to get done. If you feel like writing more and you have time, take advantage of that! You never know when something will come up and you might not get the chance for a few days.

 

  1. Rewrite and Edit

When the magical day comes when you write that sweet last sentence of your story, it’s time to destroy parts of it. Think of yourself as the God of your story, except your characters don’t have the privilege of free will. Print a copy if you can and take the good old red pen from your academic days and get to work. Look for grammar and spelling mistakes, and remove parts of stories that don’t contribute. I call these Lames. They drag down your story and serve only as filler. Don’t delete these, but save them as their own story. They might serve as a good short story, or even a basis for a sequel. If it helps move the story forward and develop your character, keep it. The same goes if it has a need-to-know plot twist.

 

Take these basic tips and start writing! Also, check out my other blogs and check back for future posts! And as always, spread kindness, it cures!

Moving on…

“Moving on” has many connotations. A lot of people say things like, “I need to move on from Sarah, because she broke my heart.” when they get dumped. Or someone who is tired of their hairstyle, they might say, “I need to move on to a different stylist.” Well, I wish things were that simple for me.
I lost my mother three months ago, and I just had to leave 500 miles from what used to be my home. So, “Moving on” for me has meant growing up.
On June 26th, I went to woke up my mother, but she’d never wake again. The following month and a half were a blur to me. I numbed myself with massive amounts of drugs. I embarrassed myself, my family, and disrespected the memory of my mother by acting very immature. It was just the only way I felt I could survive living through losing the center of my universe. Since then I have cleaned my act up. My mother wouldn’t have wanted to see me that way.
My mother wasn’t a saint, but she was an amazing woman. She was an EMT who helped saved lives. She raised four children, and helped raised three grandchildren at times. I could tell her anything without her judging me or making me feel bad about myself. She just wasn’t a mother to me, She was a second mother to two of my best friends, Justin and Kyle. The suffered a loss as well, and they mourn for her, too. When they needed a place to stay (as did many other people) she never turned them away. She was a gracious and generous person, and I’d give anything to have her back.
Before she passed, we spoke of me moving down to Newbern, TN to my sister’s because my father and I do not get along at all. I was going to move sooner, but when she died I felt too guilty to leave my brother and father behind. My mother died from heart failure. She went into the hospital ten days before her death, and the doctors released her and said she needed to see a cardiologist a month later. She had 95 percent blockage in her artery. Even the phlebotomist even commented on the visible fat in the vials of her blood. But not enough blame in the world can bring her back, thus I’m trying to move on.
I rode a Grayhoud down here to Jackson, TN on Tuesday and arrived Wednesday morning. My bus was four hours late and I sat by a large woman who felt she was entitled to both seats even though the bus was at capacity and I needed to sit. Luckily, I made a fast friend named B who helped me out. I don’t think I’ll ever take a bus again if I can help it.
Now I’m sitting on my sister’s couch, trying to collect all the craziness that’s my life. I feel welcome here…but it’s not home yer. Even though I’ve grown up in the past three months, I still have a lot more growing up to do, and part of that is all about moving on.